#parenting101

We should not teach parenting 101. Just a disclaimer. 

So Liam threw one of my shoes (one that was sitting on the coffee table to keep the puppy from chewing on it) across the room. I asked him to go get it and not to throw my shoes because I did not want Ruey to get them. He looks at me with those big ol’ naughty eyes and chucks the other one. So Jared steps in and this is the conversation. . .

J-Liam, Do you want to go to time-out?

First of all, who asks that??!?!? What do you want him to say? Um. . yes, I’d love to be in trouble, thanks. It is not really an option, Jared.  You cannot opt in and out of time-out.

L-Yeah.
J-You want to go to time out in the bathroom?
L-Yeah.
J-The DARK bathroom?
L-Yeah.
J-The COLD, DARK bathroom?
S-Why are you trying to make the bathroom some scene from a horror movie?
L-Yeah.
J-The stinky bathroom?
L-Yeah.
J-With Leprechauns?
S- JARED!!!!!!
L-Yeah.

He never went to time out. Actually Jared gave him a baba. Sigh. 

#bandaidscureall

Little Liam has the runs bad. His little bum hurts. Except he says that his wiener hurts and he is asking for a Band-Aid for it. “Band-Aid on wiener” he keeps saying. Because in our house Band-Aids cure all things! They have magical powers, y’all. Little buddy, I don’t have a wiener, but I am not thinking that is the best idea. Let’s not! Hope he feels better soon! 

#deadanimal

This is a normal scene around here. 

I was running down the stairs holding Liam like a football. Lydia was standing on the landing so I hollered “Excuse me, coming through. He smells like a dead animal!” Lydia kindly moved to the side. I got downstairs to change him and  Lydia asked “Mommy, what does a dead AM-I-NAL smell like?” I just laughed and told her if she got a little closer she could experience it. And then,  just for you Vic, I clapped for him.