Liam walked up to me the other night and with his sweet little hands folded up by his face, in his sweetest voice, asked “Mommy, may I pwease have the kid scissors?” Suspiciously, and rightfully so, I asked “Why do you need kid scissors, Buddy?” Then this conversation ensued. . .
LT- So I can cut Goosie’s baby’s hair.
S- Um, no. You may not have the scissors. You are not a hairdresser.
LT- I didn’t fink I was a hairdwesser. I just wanna cut the baby’s hair a wittle bit.
S- No, you are never allowed to cut anyone or anything’s hair. Ever. You only cut paper when Mommy and Daddy say it is okay.
LT- But I just want to and I will only cut a wittle bit.
S- No, Liam, no!
I foresee some rad bangs in our future!
Every year since Lydia was three (so a whopping two years y’all) my mom has taken us to the American Girl Doll Store for her birthday. She picks out a doll and we eat at the bistro. We have so much fun on our little girl’s day out. We were planning on doing this every year until she grew out of it. We get the catalogs and Lydia loves looking through it and trying to pick out the doll or accessories she wants. We thought she would be super excited. I eagerly made the reservation a few weeks ago and a few days later we made the mistake of going down the toy isle in Walmart. Lydia spotted a Baby Alive doll with a giant head that talks, eats, and poops its pants. This is all she wanted and girlfriend was not settling for anything else. She wanted this baby doll! We tried and tried to talk her into American Girl but there was no changing her mind. My mom and I were bummed. I know who likes American Girl more! It’s just so fun. Everything is pink and girly. It is a little girl’s dreamland. But no one there poops and for my soon to be five year old, nothing was going to beat a baby that poops in its diaper. Nothing. Lydia even told Bubba one day when asked what she wanted for her birthday, “Nanny is getting me a baby that talks, and eats, and drinks a bottle, and poops in a diaper. She’s basically a real baby!” She couldn’t even come up with anything else she wanted. So I canceled the reservation and at her party she unwrapped the creepy, giant headed baby that talks and craps its pants. We have one happy girl on our hands. I just want to know. . . who in the world thought that a doll that poops is a good idea??!?!?!! This is the grossest doll ever! She has a butthole for heaven sakes! She says “Mama, where are you? I’m hungry.” Then you feed her this junk that looks like real green baby food. Then she says “Mama, did I make a stinky?” AND THEN SHE SNIFFS HERSELF and says “peeeyoooouuuu”. I kid you not. She sniffs herself! Then you change her diaper that looks like true legit baby poop. And those doll diapers run a dollar a pop, y’all. The dang doll is more expensive than human baby to care for! Way to go, Mattel, way to go! You guys are pure genius! And thank you, Nanny! In all seriousness we have a very happy little mommy on our hands. She is a good butt wiper already!
I guess I haven’t listened to country music in the car for a while. That may just be because I have a two year old and four year old who are always in the car with me so we listen to Frozen a bazillion times in a row. That or Lydia’s pre-k CD that makes me want to run over all small children that my vehicle may come in close proximity of. Yeah, it’s that good. So anyway, I actually turned on the radio today and after a few minutes on a county station, Lydia said in a very excited voice “Oh, Mom, I really love this farmer music!” I was cracking up. She proceeded to pretend to play what appeared to be a banjo and fiddle. Perhaps we can bury the Frozen and I would have to stab myself in the eardrums if I had to teach pre-K CD’s and listen to some good ol’ farmer music more often!
We celebrated Father’s day with this cool cat today! I’m so thankful for such an amazing, loving, selfless dad. Happy Father’s Day, Pop. It was fun celebrating you!
Gotta throw Nanny in there too. We were about to lose them. They were not fond of this photo secession!