DIAL

Lydia has this mysterious rash. She has no other symptoms, just an itchy rash. At first I was mystified wondering what it could be. Then I remembered this. . . 

While I went jogging the other night Jared agreed to get the pickle-whiffers  ready for bed. I came home and was pleasantly surprised to be greeted at the door by two clean kiddos in their jammies. Rock on! Then I came upstairs to shower and Jared met me in the bathroom with a bottle of dish liquid and was all “This is what I gave the kids baths with!” He was holding it up like he was Vanna White and I had just won a big fat check. He was proud and grinning ear to ear. I was all COME AGAIN?!?!?!? You gave my babies a bath with DISH LIQUID?!?! And he was like “Yes! It makes the biggest bubbles ever! And I filled the tub up as full as it can get without spilling over! They loved it!”

I have several problems with this.

1. Of course they loved it! Now I have to think of a way to one-up you again. You create way too much work for me. Thanks a lot, Disneyland Dad!  

2. It is dish liquid. They are not baby ducks stuck in an oil spill! That junk cannot be good for their baby soft skin!

3. We have a series of bubble gum and rainbows, no-tear, sensitive skin, organic, kid friendly junk to wash the little varmints with. Not to mention the Bath and Body Works, $12 a bottle, bubble bath under the sink.  

Dish liquid, really? I am not sure this is why she has a rash but I have no other explanation. 

this kid

L2- Dad copy everyfing I thay.
J- Okay.
L2- I
J- I
L2- Don’t
J- Don’t
L2- Wike
J- Like
L2- Butts
J- Butts. LIAM!!!!

And the little boy was rolling in laughter. 

do not make yourself that beautiful

While I was whipping up something for dinner like a good Mama tonight Liam hid under the craft table and colored all over himself with markers. I only realized this when I overheard this conversation.

L1- Liam, please come out. Please. Please. You do not have to hide, Liam. Everyone makes mistakes. I am even in kindergarten and sometimes I make mistakes. Mommy and Daddy even make mistakes. Everyone.  You need to go tell Mommy the truth.

L2- No.

L1 – Just go tell Mommy what you did and tell the truth. Everybody makes mistakes. Just DO NOT make yourself THAT beautiful again.

Liam came and confessed. I swear. Lydia has magical powers!

Then when I was getting them ready for bed I tried to reinforce by asking “Liam, what do we color on?” And he looked at me with those big, mischievous eyes and answered “Mom, we all make mistakes.” The answer is paper, Liam. Paper. We only color on paper.  And thank you little Mama for the stern yet loving lecture. 

Monster Whisperer 

Liam was in a sour mood when I picked him up after work today because he didn’t have a nap. On the way home he was whining and crying because he wanted to give nanny “a blow kiss”. He had given her like 13 “blow kisses” before we pulled out of the drive way, for the record.  He likes to do that a bazillion times because Nanny flops around like the kiss is knocking her over.  He thinks it is hilarious.  I kept turning the radio up because I am a good mom like that. Or mean. Whatever. There is usually no reasoning with him when he is tired like that. I was hoping my music would woo him into dreamland. Then I hear Lydia, in the sweetest, calmest voice ever say “Liam, it’s okay. You need to stop crying. You need to get over it. You cannot have everything that you want. That is life. THAT. IS. LIFE.  I don’t get everything I want. Mommy doesn’t get everything she wants. That’s just life, Buddy. You need to stop crying and control yourself. That is life.” When did my kindergartener become so wise?  And how often do we say that to them? That’s just life. I don’t think Jared or I say that a lot. And she is like the little monster whisperer because he calmed down and eventually drifted off. Thanks for the help, Goose! 

ATL

Fun night out in Atlanta with Nanny. Children’s Museum, Centennial Park, and Johnny Rockets.