Today was Liam’s first day of preschool. We had no intention of putting him in school this year, but as we were looking for a Pre-K for next year for him we kept coming back to the same school Lydia went to. It just felt right. Well, they only had two spots left and the only way to secure his spot was to enroll him now. So we did. He is going two days a week for just a few hours for the next month or so. This way he will get into the lottery funded Pre-K next year. We were all very concerned about how he would do today. He is very shy and sensitive if Lydia or Madi are not with him. So we did lots of talking about school and what to expect and about how Mommy and Daddy will always come back. He seemed excited. Last night Jared gave Liam a Father’s blessing. We got out a special coin that he can keep in his pocket to touch or hold if he is feeling sad or scared. We tried to teach him how he could keep a prayer in his heart or pray quietly to Heavenly Father any time he was sad or scared at school. He was ready to be so brave. Then Lydia said family prayer and asked “Please bless Liam when he goes to his first day of school tomorrow. Please help him be brave and make new friends. And please let him be happy at school.” We were in tears over her sweet prayer in behalf of her brother. Her words came completely from her heart with no help from Jared or me. She is the sweetest.

Jared dropped Liam off this morning after getting him ready, feeding him breakfast, and helping him color a picture for his teacher. He texted me to let me know that he cried a little when he left which made me need to throw up a little in the middle of my math lesson. I get so nervous for them and feel their pain. I hoped and prayed that he would have a good day. And he did.

I took a half day off work to go pick him up. Nanny will normally pick him up since he gets out before Lydia and I do. But I really wanted to be there to pick him up on his first day. We got there like 35 minutes early to watch him through the one way window. He wasn’t crying, but he was standing off to the side just watching everyone else do circle time. He was not going to be a part of that today. Then they went outside so we went and peeked out a window to watch him. He went down the slide a few times and then followed the teacher around. But at least he wasn’t crying.

When it was finally time for class to end he came out and was excited to see us. Then I totally embarrassed myself. We were walking out of the building and I was standing against the door, holding it open, and I turned to tell his teacher that Nanny will usually be picking him up (just so that it was clear and she didn’t let anyone else take him- because I am paranoid like that). So I told her, and then she reached her arm up kinda behind me and for some crazy reason my brain thought she was comin’ in for a hug or something and before I had a second to think I had both arms wrapped around her waist kinda huntched over hugging this woman that I don’t even know. SHE WAS NOT COMIN’ IN FOR A HUG, Y’ALL, SHE WAS REACHING FOR THE DOOR!!!!! And for some reason when I all awkwardly let go of her and picked my head up off of her shoulder she kinda patted me on the back and said “ohhhhh”, like how unexpected and bless your heart and please don’t touch me again. And something totally must have possessed me because this pat on the back made me go right back in for another. I HUGGED HER AGAIN, Y’ALL, AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY! IT JUST HAPPENED.  It was the most awkward thing I can remember happening. Ever. As I pulled away for the second time, I thought to myself What in the world are you doing???? I turned and walked away, my head hung in complete humiliation. I got to the car and sat there laughing so hard my face hurt. My stomach hurt. It was the ugly laugh ’till you cry and your face looks pretty messed up laugh. My mom and I could not leave the parking lot of at least 15 minutes from laughing. I seriously do not know where to go from here. Do I apologize? Do I ever step foot in that building again? Do I just keep hugging her every time I see her? I am not even a hugger, y’all. I have no idea how this even happened. She probably thinks I am an emotionally fragile hugger lady. I hope she still treats Liam normal. Because I am sure she is like BLESS HER HEART!

At least Liam is young enough to not be embarrassed by me because if he was older he may never talk to me again after this.

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