Ninja School


I am pretty sure we just made all of his dreams come true! Liam is obsessed with ninjas. He used to call them “ningers”, but recently he figured it out the correct pronunciation. He’s always all “Mom, I’m bionic.” And then I ask what that means and he is all “It means I am super human and have super human powers.- Duh!” He doesn’t actually say duh, but in the tone of his voice it is totally implied. So to fuel his obsession we enrolled him in a Tae-Kwan-Do class. I have also heard that Karate is good for self-confidence and stuff so we thought- perfect, Liam is about as socially awkward as I am so this should be great for him. He is super anxious about school lately and other social situations at times. This is going to help so much, I thought. He cried halfway through every class. Twice a week. For six weeks. Sigh. But then he came home and “Hi-ya”ed us half to death. He really did love it, once he got over the anxiety of the newness.

I, on the other hand, am not so sure I came out unscathed. I almost cried half of each class too. It was a little intimidating. I am no good at new social situations either, Liam. At least you get it honestly. And I, in all my Steph-awkwardness, apparently made a fool out of myself quite often there. See when you walk in the place is packed with people walking in and out, people waiting at the front desk to talk to the lady, and parents sitting and watching on these little benches. It is so loud with all the Yes, Sirs and Thank you, Sirs. One, Sir. Two, Sir. Three, Sirs. And the office lady. Well, she got me. I heard her reprimand several people, okay children, for not bowing and saying “Yes, Ma’am” or “Hello, Ma’am” or “Thank you, Ma’am” when she spoke to them. So being all new to this Ninja business, I had no idea what the proper Ninja mom etiquette was. So when she walked up to me and bowed to me and said “Nice to meet you Ma’am” I was dumbfounded. Nervous. Sweating. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. So I, in all my dignified glory, half bowed, half waved with one hand at the woman and said something. Good gosh. I have no idea what I said. Hopefully Hello Ma’am or Nice to meet you too or something half normal! After  six weeks (and I had done this little, awkward half bow-half wave every single class to her or Master Kim or the kid teachers who all bowed to me) Jared informed me that he didn’t think I needed to bow as I am not a Ninja student. I am an adult. Am I? I mean, really. Am I? Stop bowing to me then. I don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to respond to that? Bless my heart.